StalkingMany young adults and adolescents have trouble dealing with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend who just won't let go of the relationship. This website provides information on how to manage this common and difficult experience. When many people try to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend they have a hard time getting the other person to accept the breakup and leave them alone. The ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend may do things like call repeatedly or call late at night, leave notes at an apartment or dorm room, or send unwanted e-mails. Some will do these things because they hope that maintaining contact will help get the relationship back together; others will be hoping that they can convince their former partner to start the relationship again; others are expressing their anger and frustration. Sometimes the ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is simply annoying, but other times can be frightening or dangerous. Many people use the term stalking for this type of behavior, and many states have enacted anti-stalking laws to stop this type of harassment. We prefer the term intrusive contact, since one person is intruding in an unwanted way into another person’s life. Stalking, which means to follow someone without them knowing, is one form of intrusive contact, but there are many others such as calling or visiting repeatedly, waiting outside a person's home or where he or she works, or threatening someone with harm. This website is designed to help those who are having to cope with stalking or other forms of intrusive contact. It contains information on intrusive contact, how to set limits on how much an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend can contact you, and how to remain safe if you are the target of intrusive contact. To make our writing simpler, throughout this website we will use the term ex in place of ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. Before you read the other information on this website, it is important for us to emphasize that every relationship is different and every breakup is different. Consequently, we cannot guarantee that you will be able to stop intrusive contact or maintain your safety by following the guidelines on this website. The guidelines provide general advice, but they are best used by talking with family, friends, mental-health or law-enforcement professionals, and others who can help you apply the guidelines to your situation. Information on this website was written by Jeffrey Haugaard, Ph.D., Lisa Seri, and Anika March. Production of this website was partially funded by the Cornell University Agricultural Experiment Station federal formula funds, received from Cooperative State Research, Education, and Extension Service, U.S. Department of Agriculture. Any opinions, findings, conclusions, or recommendations expressed in this publication are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the view of the U.S. Department of Agriculture. This website is sponsored by |
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